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Untold Stories With Neenagh

It rippled a rapid, intense wave through my body, a sudden electrical surge. But, it seemed to travel much further than my physical realm…it took over my reality for a second. Like I’d really gone to space.
I connected to something for sure, something beyond this world is what it felt like…like a calling from far away.
As intense as they are, (the visions I mean)
I tend to silence them.
They’re far too magical for this reality in which we appear to live.
Though, this one was different, so vivid and too quick to feel. I couldn’t silence him. He felt loud, colourful, shockingly beautiful. I saw him in abstract cells, colours, lines and most of all light. Electric in colour, like fireworks lighting up a midnight sky.
Fragments of my consciousness shot into a million pieces. Time stood silent, the timing was infinite yet over in the blink of reality’s eye.
The current of my body pulsing down softly into my lover’s melodic embrace. I knew that day, my world would change forever, I grew into my new body as life grew upon me. I felt powerful, with purpose like never before.
Deep down, I felt the experience was one I birthed, though two energies combined physically, spiritually, I felt increasingly alone. Professionals told me my body was not strong enough to reap what I had sown, my power was slipping away. Dissolved by disheartening words and an absent provider. I thought things would be different, but I did everything I was supposed to. So why did it feel like I couldn’t choose?
It may not have been enough to carry my kin into the world as I imagined but he arrived. 9 lb 3 of perfect matter was delivered by emergency means by strangers in blue gowns in the early hours of August 5th. The moment he attached to my bosom, I felt the surge again. The connection was like nothing I’d ever felt before. Confirmation that I could, my body was responding perfectly despite the overwhelming pain and being unable to feel my lower half. The sacrifice I felt for my former self was a beautiful honour, one which I would repeat as many times as the universe allows.
We returned home where I would continue what felt like a journey of pure love and isolation. The love just got deeper and deeper. I realised that it was down to me, forever responsible to provide.
It was overwhelming at first but as time passed, I grew stronger. Bonding over the unlimited flow my body would provide every minute of the day to nourish him despite hardly being able to keep my own eyes open at times.
The fire inside me burned brighter than any love I had ever felt. I knew it was the only love I needed. Every day I’m still learning, Motherhood brings perspective. My eyes can see so much more than before. Sometimes it’s painful, but it brings eternal blessings.
The gift that keeps on giving. He says he saw me from the sky, coming in and out of my house. He saw the rain and the sunshine too; then one day he decided he wanted to come and be with me because he knew I’d be kind to him. Sometimes, I can’t believe the words that come out of his mouth. How did I get so lucky?
My son, my saviour, my everything.